the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
