She announced her abortion via fbk
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
