im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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