Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
