Just cropdusted the office
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm getting married
To pizza
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
