Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize