Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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