I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
