I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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