alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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