You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
