It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
