he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
