there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
