You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
