Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
