did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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