I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
