I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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