Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
