I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
