Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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