Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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