Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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