I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
