i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We are two peas in an std pod
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
