mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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