Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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