Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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