i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
