Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
