Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She bit a glass in half.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
