You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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