Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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