im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
