just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
