Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
