i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
