were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
