So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
