I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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