i think i have two assholes
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
