yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
