Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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