Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
