yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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