You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
