He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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