I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize