We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
