i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
