I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
