the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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