y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
