fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
