Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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