I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
