the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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