He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
