A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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