my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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